Chapter Two: Murphy's Law

Welcome back to the Tsarina Alphabetacy! 

In the previous chapter, Catherine Tsarina moved to Siberia, met and married Komei Tellerman, and had three children: Alexei, Albina, and Anfisa.

Who knew that Darren Dreamer would fall in love with the Diva of all people? They even have a son, Dylan.

Alexei: “Mama! Let me out! No like bath!”

Cate: “Don’t you want to be squeaky clean for your birthday tonight?”

Alexei: “No! Want out!”

Cate: “I’ll let you out as soon as you’re all clean. Now stop squirming.”

Now that Alexei is squeaky clean and freed from the horrors of bath time, it’s birthday time!

Komei: “Wooo! My little boy’s growing up!”

Nathan: “I don’t know this kid, but I sure do love birthdays.”

Alexei: “Pretty fire! I touch?”

Cate: “No, honey, you can’t touch it.”

Alexei: “But it pretty.”

Cate: “I know, sweetie. But it will hurt you if you touch it. Instead, we blow it out and make a wish.”

Alexei: “Wish! Wish!”

Cate: “Okay, I blow out the candles, and you make a wish.”

Alexei: “Wish to be bear!”

Sorry kid, I can’t make that happen.

Alexei: “Wish to be fox!”

I think I can manage that one.

Alexei: “Check it out! I’m still cute!”

Yep! And you got a good transition outfit so no one has to go shopping!

Alexei: “Sweet! I rock!”

Yes you do, kid.

Alexei: “Okay, party over. Bedtime.”

I’ve never been good at getting a toddler’s energy to an ideal level before their birthday party. They’re always too far down or too far up. I get a lot of kids immediately heading to bed right after transitioning.

Alexei: “Do I have to go to school?”

Yes, unless you want to be taken by the Social Worker.

Alexei: “But it’s going to be boring! Please don’t make me go.”

You really are your mother’s son.

Matchmaker: “Hehe, no one has seen my approach. I am as though invisible. I shall leave my Great Gift and leave them with the Great Mystery of its origins.”

Alexei: “Hey, Captain, who is that weird lady on our porch?”

Matchmaker: “I am unseen!”

Matchmaker: “HAHAHAHA!”

Thanks for the lamp!

Matchmaker: “I am invisible!”

Right. Perpetual winter isn’t exactly conducive to sneaking. Now go on your way and leave more footprints in the snow. 

Cate: “Come on, let’s get your fun up before the twins’ birthday tonight.”

Alexei: “Wheee! This is fun and scary!”

Cate: “Scary fun is the best kind!”

As Cate said, tonight is the twins’ birthday.

And I see that thought bubble, Cate! You are not having more babies.

Cate: “But...Family Sim...babies...”

Not. Going. To. Happen.

Cate: “Fine.”

Cate blows out the candles for Albina...

...while Komei does the honors for Anfisa.

And here they are. More toddlers for me to pic spam.

On the right, in the green dress, is our heiress Albina. She is a Virgo with a rather extreme personality, 10/1/8/8/1. Oh boy. That’s going to be interesting.

On the left, in the purple overalls, is the younger twin Anfisa. She is a Cancer, 7/5/5/6/10. 

I just hope this doesn’t devolve into good twin/evil twin.

Alexei: “Are there going to be two cakes at all of the twins’ birthdays?”

Yes. They’ll each get a cake.

Alexei: “In that case, I like twins. I hope they have another birthday soon.”

The driver for the Athletic carpool gives me the creeps.

Not only does she share the creepy smile of all the drivers, but she also drives around with Sims 1 mannequins.

What is she doing with them?

Albina: “Mehehehehe!”

Komei: “Um, Captain, should I be worried about this?”

Nah. I’m sure her evil laugh will get better when she’s older.

Komei: “That’s not what I meant.”

I know. Trust me...I know.

Komei: “You’re my sweet little girl, aren’t you?”

Anfisa: “Yah! Wuv dada!”

Komei: “I love you, too.” sigh “No evil laughter here.”

Cate: “Alright, sweetie, let’s get you walking.”

Anfisa: “Yah! Yah yah ‘alk!”

Cate: “That’s the spirit.”

Cate: “Can you say bottle?”

Albina: “....bottle.”

Cate: “Good job! You’re a smart girl!”

Albina: “....smart.”

Cate: “Do you mind teaching Albina to walk? I’ve got a game tonight.”

Komei: cough “What? I don’t know...she does this creepy little laugh whenever I’m with her.”

Cate: “I know the laugh can be a little, well, odd. But I taught her to talk and she was fine. Please, Ko, she needs to learn and I’m going to spend my whole career in the dugout if I miss another game.”

Komei: “Alright. Maybe she won’t laugh this time.”

Komei: “Let’s get you walking, kiddo.”

Albina: “Mehehehehe!”

Komei: “Please stop doing that. It’s giving daddy nightmares.”

Albina: “....sorry.”

Maybe he should have tried that sooner.

Alexei: “This is so boring I’m gonna die!”

Poor Alexei is so playful that it’s nearly impossible for him to do his homework. I’ll get his fun all the way up, have him do his homework, and he’ll get about halfway through before his fun is back in the red and he refuses to go on.

I do my best with him, but he still ends up with a stack of homework that he has to spend his weekends catching up with.

I can’t wait for this kid to be done with school. I’m pretty sure he can’t wait either.

Komei: “Can you say daddy?”

Anfisa: “Daddy! Play now?”

Komei: “Not yet, sweetie.”

Anfisa: “Wanna play now!”

How is it that Cate had an easier time with Albina?

Alexei: “No, Fi, you don’t eat the blocks. You build with them. I can show you how to build a castle with them.”

Anfisa: “Eat better! Block yummy!”

Alexei: “But you’ll ruin the blocks and we won’t be able to play with them anymore.”

Sorry, Alexei. It looks like you’ve been outvoted. Eating the blocks is apparently better than playing with them.

Is it just me, or does Albina look like she’s doing the zombie shamble here?

What? Already? But I didn’t get nearly enough toddler pic spam!

Cate: “They do grow up fast, don’t they? Maybe you can let me have another one? More babies mean more cute toddlers.”

That’s still a hard no, Cate.

Cate: “Hmph. Fine. Let’s get this show on the road, then.”

Komei: “Make a wish, Albie.”

Albina: “...freckles.”

Komei: “You wish for freckles?”

Albina: “....yes.”

Komei: “Not what I expected, honestly.”

Cate: “What’s your wish, Fi?”

Anfisa: “Wish everyone happy.”

Cate: “You’re such a sweetheart.”

Albina’s transition outfit doesn’t really suit her, but I am pleased that she went from the green, fruit-patterned dress to a red, flower-patterned dress. They kind of oddly match to me.

Holy crap! Anfisa’s hair exploded!

I like it, but her face is nearly completely hidden. I guess she’ll need a trip to the mirror.

Anfisa: “No. No changing my hair. No one is touching a single strand.”

Alright, fine, you can keep the hair. I guess we’ll never see her face again.

Here’s Albina post-makeover, with a much more suitable dress.

She can look like a very sweet kid when she feels like it.

And here’s Anfisa. I have respected her wishes and not cut or restyled her hair, not even to get a decent look at how her face is turning out so far. I’ll just have to wait until she graduates and puts on the cap.

I usually don’t use this outfit, but it seems to work for her.

Alexei: “This isn’t fair! It’s the weekend! Why can’t I play??”

Because you won’t do your homework during the week, so you get to spend your weekend here, slowly plowing through that pile of homework.

Alexei: “But it’s not fair!”

Oh well. Now do your work.

Gordon King: “Alright, this is it. The big score. Once I burgle this house, I can quit the business and me and my girl will be off to Twikkii by dawn.”

Big score? I don’t think anything in this house will get you even a single ticket to Twikkii.

Gordon: “But it’s a legacy house. Legacy families always have tons of money and valuable junk.”

Pfft. Sure, later on. This legacy is still being established. They haven’t even done the rebuild yet. You showed up a couple of generations early if you were hoping for a ‘big score.’

Gordon: “Ah man, the guys at Burglar Incorporated lied to me. Those jerks. I’ll make them pay.”

Well, it sounds like you have a busy night of revenge planning ahead of you. I guess you’ll be on your way to take care of that. See ya.

Gordon: “Nah, I already went through the trouble of coming all the way up the mountain to get here. Might not be much of a score, but I don’t want to leave empty handed.”

D’arvit.

Gordon: “What?! But this is the founding generation! They have the changing table by the front door for god’s sake! How do they have a burglar alarm? Why do they have a burglar alarm?”

Does this mean you’ll be leaving now?

Gordon: “I will not leave empty handed! This place is pretty remote. I can grab something before the cops show up.”

Alexei! What you doing out here? It’s not safe! And how can you be so calm at a time at like this?

Alexei: “It’s three in the morning. I’m too tired to panic. I’m just hoping he’ll steal my homework.”

Yeah, I notice that you still have a stack of homework sitting there.

Alexei: “Is now really the time, Captain?”

Fair point.

Gordon: “This seems to be the most valuable thing in the room, so it will have to do. Couch, you’re coming with me.”

Ugh, fine, take the couch. Now will you just leave?

Gordon: “Yeah. I don’t think I can grab anything else. Besides, the couch will look good in my living room.”

Cate: “Yaw!”

Taking out some frustration there, Cate?

Cate: “Next burglar I see is getting a face-full of fist!”

Alright, you need body points for work anyway.

Alexei: “Stupid burglar didn’t take my homework! Now I have to spend the whole weekend being bored and miserable and BORED!”

Destroy as many snowmen as you like, kid. I’m pretty sure they were in on it.

Woo! Smustle face transition! Let’s go!

Alexei: “Are you really okay with being heiress, Albie?”

Albina: “....yes.”

Alexei: “Are you sure? You know it means getting married and junk, right?”

Albina: “....I know. I can get married.”

Anfisa: “But you won’t talk to anyone but us. How are you going to get married if you won’t talk to a boy?”

Albina: “I’ll only have to talk to the boy I marry. Not anyone else.”

Alexei: “But won’t you have to talk to different guys and go on dates and stuff until you find the right guy?”

Albina: “No....I won’t find him.”

Anfisa: “What? But you just said that you can do the marriage junk. You have to find a guy.”

Albina: “No. You’ll find someone for me.”

Anfisa: “Like one of those arranged marriage things?”

Albina: “Yes.”

Alexei: “We can’t just tell you who to marry, Albie. Marriage is weird, but it has to be someone you love.”

Anfisa: “That’s not true. It only has to be someone she likes. We can find you someone to like, Albie.”

Albina: “Thank you....This is fun. I like blocks.”

Albina: “I’m glad you don’t think I’m weird, Fi.”

Anfisa: “You’re not weird. You just want to be left alone. I love being around people but being different from me doesn’t mean anything bad about you.”

Albina: “Thank you. You...you’re my favorite person.”

Anfisa: “You’re my favorite too.”

Albina: “....what are you doing?”

Alexei: “Celebrating! It’s a snow day! No school no school no school!”

Albina: “....that means it’s a skilling day.”

Alexei: “Crap!......Don’t tell mom I said that.”

Albina: “....I won’t.”

Alexei: “This cheesecake recipe is so weird! I’ve been studying it for two hours and I still don’t get how it makes girls have twins.”

Albina: “....cheesecake makes twins?”

Alexei: “Apparently! And I still don’t get how. It’s so weird, and I can’t take sitting here reading it anymore. And why doesn’t Anfisa have to study with us? It’s not fair!”

Albina: “....punching bag.”

Alexei: “Punching bag?”

Albina: “....yes. Punching bag.”

Alexei: “Oh. Hey! Fi!”

Anfisa: huff huff “What?”

Alexei: “I need a break! Snowball fight!”

Anfisa: “Yes!”

Alexei: “I bet I can get you right in the face, Fi!”

Anfisa: “Ha! You couldn’t hit the broad side of a barn.”

Alexei: “I’ll show you!”

I wanted to include one cute picture of the kids having their snowball fight before I got into the near-disaster that came from it.

I will use this picture of Olive Specter stealing the newspaper to explain.

Do you see Anfisa in the background there? Yeah, she’s freezing.

See, the kids had a snow day and that day happened to be Alexei’s birthday. Since it was a snow day and these kids will badly need money in college, I had them skilling. Alexei hates skilling and it drains his fun horribly. In the interest of getting his mood up, and to indulge a want that all the kids had, I sent them out for a snowball fight. I took a couple of pictures, and then my attention got diverted by Komei and Cate (though I forget exactly what was going on with them). I got the pop-up about the kids being too cold, and boy were they. I immediately ordered them inside, but I wasn’t fast enough. Albina got inside and warmed up without a problem, but Alexei and Anfisa both froze. Luckily, neither of them froze to the point of someone having to pull out a blow-dryer. However, their needs absolutely tanked. I had to micromanage them for the rest of the day, and postpone Alexei’s birthday to the morning.

Alexei woke up early to dance in the kitchen. I didn’t want the poor kid to grow up with his fun in the red just because I messed up :(

That is not appropriate, Cate.

Cate: “It’s not my fault that my husband is so hot.”

Alexei: “Mom! Gross!”

Komei: “Come on, everyone. School starts in a couple of hours.”

What are you going to wish for?

Alexei: “I wish that I’ll get to have lots and lots of fun. Oh, and meet cute girls.”

Gee, I wonder what’s going to come out of that wish. Blow out those candles, kid.

Alexei: “Oh yeah, watch out ladies. Alexei Tsarina is a total hottie.”

And so humble.

Alexei of course rolled Pleasure/Popularity for his aspiration. Let’s take a look at that LTW before Alexei has to go off to school.

....you have got to be kidding me.

Alexei: “What? I said I wanted to meet cute girls.”

But...50 First Dates? Do you know how long that will take? Do you know how many kicked over trashcans you’ll have to deal with?

Alexei: “Meh...worth it.”

Ugh. Fine. But you have to wait till college.

Alexei: “Alright. That will give me time to prepare.”

I’m a bit worried about that, honestly.

After everyone got home from school and work, I directed them to go stand on the sidewalk for a little while....not realizing that there was a cockroach infestation.

Albina, the little neat freak that she is, promptly freaked out and started crying. Komei, possibly influenced by the penguin behind him, decided to stomp on them and caught the flu. The flu quickly spread to Albina, Cate, and Alexei. Anfisa was the only Tsarina to escape the epidemic.

I am the best simmer.

Here’s the reason everyone went to the sidewalk and got sick. The Tsarinsas finally earned enough money to rebuild the house!

The house is three floors. The master bedrooms, nursery, living room, kitchen and dining room are on the first floor. The second floor has four single bedrooms, and the bathroom, which is divided up into stalls for toilets and showers. The third floor is basically an attic for miscellaneous items, such as craft stations and career rewards, that wouldn’t really fit aesthetically on the lower floors.

There is a story behind this rebuild, including why on earth they would have a pond considering it would be frozen most of the time. But I’ve used enough slides in this chapter explaining issues that I ran into, so I won’t put it here. If you’re curious, let me know on Boolprop and I will post about what happened.

Komei: “Thanks for the soup, Cate.”

Alexei: “Yeah, I’m feeling better already.”

Cate: “You don’t need to thank me. I couldn’t stand watching you guys suffer. Plus, this means that I don’t have to lock myself in the bedroom for days.”

I made the mistake of letting Alexei get a handheld game, and he will not stop playing it. Whenever he’s left to roam free, he will just stop wherever he is and start playing. Turns out that gaming is his natural hobby.

That is pretty fitting for a Pleasure Sim.

What the hell?! You said you were healthy again!

Alexei: “I thought-” cough “-that I was! I don’t know what happened.”

Go get some comfort soup right now.

Alexei: cough cough cough “Okay.”

Alexei: “Thanks for making more soup, mom.”

Cate: “You’re welcome. But next time, don’t assume you’re healthy if you still feel sick. I don’t want the entire house to get infected again.”

Alexei: “I won’t. I’m sorry.”

Cate: “It’s alright, sweetie. Now, how about we discuss this lifetime want of yours. I’m a bit worried about it.”

Ha, good luck with this conversation, Alexei. I’m gonna leave you guys to it and go check on your sisters.

Hey there. Whatcha painting?

Anfisa: “It’s red stuff. I like red stuff. It’s pretty.”

Fair enough. Where’s your sister?

Anfisa: “She’s readin. Said something about figuring out cheesecake. I haven’t read any of the cooking books yet, so I don’t know what she means.”

Alrighty then. Have fun.

Here I have documented evidence of the roughly five real-time minutes that the pond was not frozen.

Cate: “I’m confused. How are there fish in this pond? Do they unfreeze when the pond does? How do they survive that?”

Well, if they’re like the fish in my pond, they bury themselves in the mud at the bottom when the water gets too cold and hibernate until it warms up.

Cate: “Does that mean that they are doomed to only live their lives an hour or two at a time? That sounds horrible.”

That’s a depressing thought. I really need to just get rid of that pond.

The family is pretty broke after the rebuild, so Komei has taken up painting to both build his creativity for work and add funds to the family bank.

Komei: “Is there anything more fulfilling than learning and making money at the same time?”

The answer to that would rely heavily on your aspiration.

Komei: “I suppose that’s true.”

Albina: “It’s a snow day! Do you know what that means?”

That you and Alexei get to finish that homework you refused to do yesterday, and then work on earning scholarships?

Albina: “Yeah, but also that I don’t have to deal with the other kids at school.”

I can definitely relate to that. Now get to work.

Cate: “You see, sweetie, homework really isn’t difficult. And the sooner you get it done, the sooner you can do things you enjoy more.”

Albina: “....I don’t mind it.”

Cate: “Good! Now tell me, what do you think the answer to number four is?”

Albina: “....42.”

Cate: “Good job, that’s the right answer.”

Alexei: huff huff “I don’t know what sucks more. School days or snow days.”

Oh calm down. It’s not that bad. Your fun bar is firmly in the green, mister.

Alexei: “It’s the principle of the thing.” huff “I should get to spend my days off having fun and either meeting girls or learning how to charm them.”

Think of it this way, you’re building body skill right now. Which will make you fit. Which will make you more attractive to girls.

Alexei: “Oh yeah! Alright, let’s get sculpted like a Greek God.”

Just make sure it’s not Dionysus. Constant drinking is not kind to your physique.

I’m only including this picture to show that Albina is the one who always runs out to the sidewalk to hug her mom when she gets home.

She may be unwilling to interact with anyone else, but the girl loves her family.

Alexei: “You ready for tonight, Fi?”

Anfisa: “I think so. I’m kind of worried though. I like being a kid.”

Alexei: “I get that. But you’ll like being a teen better. The school days are shorter and you’re one step closer to college, which I heard is totally awesome.”

Anfisa: “Alright, I guess it will be okay. And you can’t move your rook like that.”

It’s time for the twins to become teenagers!

And yet again, some rando has wandered in during the birthday party.

Albina: [I will not look at him. There is not a stranger standing next to me right now. I will not look over there.]

The hobby master finally left, so Albina was able to go ahead with blowing out her candles.

Albina: “....I wish to have that weird guy’s outfit.”

Really?

Albina: “....yes. It was neat.”

Not what I expected.

And here she is! She is a very pretty Sim. I love the way that Komei and Cate’s faces combine.

She even grew up in a nice looking, matching outfit. It doesn’t suit her, and I’ll be changing it after the party, but I am proud of her for having something decent on each birthday so far.

Albina rolled Knowledge and Fortune, which suits her perfectly. Her lifetime want is to become a Game Designer. So I guess her wish for the Gaming Hobby Master’s outfit will eventually come true.

Also, check out the other random person to wander into the birthday party.

What are you going to wish for, Anfisa?

Anfisa: “My wish is to be able to make money by helping other people have fun.”

That sounds neat. Now, blow out those candles and let us see if your hair explodes again.

Well her hair didn’t explode, but she did get an awful, mismatched, and completely unsuitable outfit.

Considering that they live in the mountains of Siberia, I can’t help but think of how cold that outfit would actually be.

Anyway, Anfisa rolled Pleasure/Fortune for her aspiration. This makes Alexei the only member of the family who does not have Fortune as either their primary or secondary aspiration.

Once again, we have a Sim whose birthday wish is likely to come true. Anfisa has the LTW to become a Professional Party Guest. So she’ll be paid to help make parties more fun and successful.

Here’s Albina post-makeover.

Once again, I am really happy with how she’s turning out. She seems to have the best combination of genetics out of the A kids. Well, probably. I still haven’t fully seen Anfisa’s face.

Speaking of Anfisa, here she is....making me realize far too late that this outfit, in combination with her hair, makes her look like Sk8er Boi era Avril Lavigne.

Oh well. I still dig the early 2000s punk-ish look.

And here we end chapter two. Tune in next time to see how if the house can survive two teenage Pleasure Sims, and if Albina will ever willingly talk to anyone outside of her family.

Caller: “The flashing light was just a test. You'll have plenty of warning next time."

I miss the prank calls.