Chapter Four: Awkwardness Intensifies

Thank you for coming back to the Tsarina Alphabetacy!
In the previous chapter, Siya returned home after a panicked search by Joe. This required direct interference on my part, which was...not pleasant for me and has left my poor Simself quite drained. I don't think I'll be able to repeat that trick for quite some time, if ever.
Note: I wasn't sure how to work this bit of information into the story naturally, at least at this point, but I think it really needs to be clarified. Sophia and Cristian's mothers had a platonic Boston marriage (look them up, the history is really neat). Some of the dialog here might suggest that Sophia and Cristian are actually related or that their mothers had a romantic relationship, and I just want to make it clear that they're not and they didn't.

Sophia: "Open the door, Cris! I know you're in there!"

Sophia: "Cris! I know you're here! Answer the door or I start breaking windows!"

Cristian: "H-hi, Sophia..."
Sophia: "Let me inside right now. You fucked up big time, and now you either talk to me, or talk to the police. It's up to you."
Cristian: "Of--of course, Sophia. Come inside."

Sophia: "How dare you?! How could you do this to me?! To my family?!"
Cristian: "Please, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to scare or hurt anyone. I just wanted to meet her."
Sophia: "Then you call or come visit! You do not convince my daughter to come visit you in secret. What would your mother have to say about this??"
Cristian: "Don't bring her into this."
Sophia: "Why shouldn't I?"

Sophia: "Auntie Antonia was just as much my mother as yours, just like my mom was to you."

Sophia: "They raised us together. I have every right to remind you how disappointed and upset she would be if she knew that you were kidnapping my children!"

Cristian: "Kidnapping? I didn't kidnap anyone! I invited Anastasiya for a visit! I sent her home when I realized how late it was! How is that kidnapping?"
Sophia: "You had her come here in secret! You didn't let me or Joe know where she was. And you didn't intend to! What else could you possibly call it?"
Cristian: "A mistake! It was a mistake. Sophia, please, I'm so sorry. I...I acted horribly to you and said such awful things...I didn't know if you'd ever talk to me again. I-I realized that I might never meet your children, and, well, I panicked. I kept thinking about mom and Auntie Alexandra and how sad they would be if I never got to at least meet your heiress."

Cristian: "After you told me to give you and Joe some space, I realized how stupid and awful I was acting. I admit, that took a while. I spent an absolutely humiliating amount of time blaming you and Joe for how miserable I was and even trying to come up with some sort of revenge. God that sounds stupid, huh?"
Sophia: "I'd say 'stupid' is an understatement."
Cristian: "You're right, it is. It was just that you were all I had after...after..."
Sophia: "After the crash?"

Cristian: "I never had any family but you and our mothers. After that night, you were all I had in the world. You at least had Cate. I know that didn't make much of a difference, but it was more than I had. If something happened to me, you had a place to go, someone who would care about you. Without you, I would have nothing and no one."

Cristian: "When I saw you with Joe, it was like I was 16 again, terrified of losing the only family I had and being left alone in the world."
Sophia: "And I guess me telling you to go away for a while just made that worse."
Cristian: "It's not your fault. I deserved it. I needed it. But I was scared of calling you; scared that you would tell me you didn't want me back in your life ever again. I just want us to be family again. And I went about it completely the wrong way."
Sophia: "That's another understatement."
Cristian: "I made the absolute worst choice possible. I'll stay out of your life, and your family's lives, from now on. You don't have to worry about ever seeing or hearing from me again. Go be happy with your family. I'll find a way to manage on my own."
Sophia: sigh "I'm not going to leave you on your own. We were raised as siblings, and you'll always be my brother. I want you in my life. But with rules."
Cristian: "Of course. Anything."

Sophia: "First, you have to apologize to Joe. You hurt him, too. Second, absolutely no unsupervised contact with my children. That includes visits, phone calls, emails, etc. If you want to speak with any of them, you have to come to my house, with either Joe or I present, and speak with them there. None of my children will ever come to your house again, even after they've graduated college. Do you understand?"
Cristian: "Of course. I agree to all of that. No problem."
Sophia: "Good. And Cristian?"
Cristian: "Yeah?"

Sophia: "If you ever break my rules, or if you ever so much as think about hurting anyone in my family, I will hunt you down. I will come after you like a hound after a fox. I will gut you and string you up in the town square by your own intestines. I will make you pay."

Ark: "Check it out! I'm going to do a headstand!"
Zell: "Headstand! Oh my god, that's the coolest thing ever! Whoopee!"
Ark: "Um, aren't you supposed to cheer after I do it, not before?"

Zell: "Yes! Go Ark! You rock!"
Ark: "This...was a bad idea. I think I'm going to puke."
Man, aren't I great at transitions?

Ark: "I heard that chess skill directly correlates to how intelligent a person is. I'm great at chess, so that must mean I'm a super genius."
Siya: "Nuh-uh. I read that that isn't true at all. Being good at chess just means you're good at chess."
Ark: "No! I'm a super genius! That means I'm always right. And I say being good at chess makes you smart."
Siya: "No, you're wrong."
Ark: "Captain! Tell Siya that I'm right and she should shut up."
I will do no such thing, young man. Siya's right. Also, you do not get to boss me around. I boss you, you don't boss me.
Ark: "But...but..."

Siya: "It's okay, Ark. You're not right all the time, but I still think you're a super genius."
Ark: "Really? You do?"
Siya: "Of course. I mean, you started to study cooking ages after I did, but you're already way ahead of me. You might even be a super super genius."
Ark: "Wow! You're my favorite older sister, Siya."
Siya: "But aren't I your only older sister?"
Ark: "Yep!"
Can I say that I love how these two have the same pajamas? I would love it even more if Zell had the same ones.

Alas, she does not.
Zell chose a very proper nightgown over the teddy pajamas. I could just have her change them so they would all match, but I would know that she was wearing the wrong pjs.

Er...something has definitely gone wrong here.
Is it just a glitch or did Joe let Ark slip while spinning him around?
Personally, I feel the latter is much funnier. Go with whatever answer pleases you best.

Zell: "Come on, toss the ball already!"
Siya: "Be patient. I have to figure out the perfect spiral first."
Zell: "You've been holding the ball for five minutes! Toss it or I'm going inside."
Siya: "Daddy always lets me figure out my throw."
Zell: "Then play with him. I'm going to practice my new dance."
Siya: "Fine!"

Joe: "Come on, just throw the ball."
Siya: "But I have to make sure it's perfect!"
Joe: "You're overthinking things, sweetheart. There's no such thing as the perfect throw."
Siya: "There is! And I have to figure it out."
Joe: sigh "Alright, sweetie. Take your time."

Siya: "But, daddy, that doesn't make any sense. How can two negatives make a positive? Shouldn't they just make a double negative?"
Joe: "A double negative is a positive."
Siya: "What?!"
Ark: "My teacher's book says that Marie Antoinette told starving French citizens to eat cake if they didn't have bread."
Sophia: "Your teacher's book is wrong. Marie Therese said that four years before Antoinette even arrived in France."
Ark: "Cool! I can't wait to tell her!"
That quote being attributed to Marie Antoinette might be a pet peeve of mine...

Thanks for cooking dinner, Grey Mother!
Grey Mother: "Oh my, are you the resident narrator? It's truly an honor for you to let me hear your voice."
I am the narrator. Call me Captain. And I totally appreciate the flattery.
GM: "Oh, of course, Captain. Nannies such as myself are rarely spoken to by narrators, and even more rarely to be thanked. I suppose this means that I have pleased you?"
You have. Most nannies I've dealt with cause trouble and neglect the children. But you've done an admiral job. I'm actually glad that you refused to be fired. Siya will be a teenager soon, and I probably won't be seeing you after her birthday. So I wanted to say thank you for doing such a good job with the children, and I hope that you return once Siya takes over as heiress and has her own children.
GM: "I hope to be chosen as well. It would be an honor to continue serving this fine family."
Such a suck-up.
I love it.

Sophia: "Are you sure you're okay with this?"
Joe: "With my baby girl becoming a teenager tomorrow? Not at all."
Sophia: "Oh you know that's not what I meant."
Joe: "I know." sigh "I guess it's alright. He didn't hurt her, and you said that he's genuinely sorry for what happened. I know how important he is to you. I don't think I can ever forgive him, but I'll tolerate him. I'll even be civil."
Sophia: "Thank you. I love you so much."
Joe: "I love you so much, too."

Ark: "Are you excited for tonight? Do you feel funny at all? Are you experiencing hormones yet, or does that happen later? Do you already know what your aspiration is, or do you not find out until after?"
Siya: "Umm...yes, no, later I guess, and I don't know yet."
Ark: "Okay. I wrote down a whole bunch of questions to ask last night. Give me a second so I can grab my notebook."
Siya: "Ark, chill out. You and Zell will be teens in a couple of days, and you'll have all your answers then."
Ark: "But it might be different for different people. And it might be different between guys and girls. I need as much data as possible."
Siya: "...all I wanted to do was use the computer..."
Let's skip ahead a few hours so we don't have to hear all of Ark's questions. I'm pretty sure Siya wishes she could just do the same.

Cristian: "I'm really sorry for everything. I made a huge mistake, several huge mistakes. I spiraled badly and lost control of myself. I'm doing much better now, and I promise that nothing like that will ever happen again."
Joe: "I'll be honest. I don't trust you. I don't think I can forgive you for how you treated Sophia or what happened with Siya. But I do trust my wife. If she believes that you've changed for the better, then I'll go along with it. Stick to the rule, and don't give me a reason to be suspicious of you, and I'll be civil."
Cristian: "That's more than fair. It's more that I deserve."
Joe: "Yes. It is."

Siya: "I wish I could climb Belukha Mountain. It's so awesome! Did you know that it has multiple peaks? And there are glaciers on it that could be 5,000 years old! It would be so cool to climb it. But mom says I can't cause it's too remote and it can be hard to get a border zone pass. But I really want to go there. I asked the Captain, and she said, um, what did she say? Oh yeah! She said-" deep voice "-'bureaucracy is tough even for me.' Which I think is weird. I mean, why couldn't the Captain get a pass? Governments are weird."
Cristian: "Uh-huh..."
Siya: "But! She did say that she could arrange a trip to the mountains for me someday but couldn't promise it would be Belukha. I really hope it's Belukha, but any mountain is good, I guess."
Sophia: "Siya! Come on, it's cake time!"
Siya: "Oh! Coming, mom!"

Ark: [Hmm...I wonder if I could steal Siya's birthday. She isn't at her cake yet, and I am right here. I could just start blowing out the candles before she could get here. I wonder if that would make me technically older than her? Would she still be able to have a birthday today, or would she have to switch with me, and have her birthday with Zell in a few days? I'm gonna find out. Okay, start blowing out the candles on three. 1...2--]
Ark!
Ark: "Gah! What?"
Step away from the cake, mister. It's Siya's birthday. You have to wait.
Ark: [How did she know?]

I can never get everyone at a birthday celebrating at the same time. There's always one person caught between animations.
Also, Zell tried to go to bed right before Siya got to the cake, ruining all the group shots >.<

What are you going to wish for?
Siya: "I wish to have this weird butler-shaped growth removed from my shoulder."
Har har.

Siya: "Too bright! Too bright!"

Hello Siya!
Didn't I say that Sophia and Joe make pretty kids?
Damn.

Here she is all made over. And showing off her muscles, naturally.
Siya rolled Family/Fortune, the exact reverse of Joe's aspirations. It's a very suiting combination for an heiress. I approve.
Siya: "Aw thanks, Cap."

Cristian: "Happy birthday, Anastasiya. Do you remember what we talked about? Your promise?"
Siya: "I...I remember promising to do...something. But I don't know what it was. It keeps slipping away..."
Cristian: "That's alright. You'll remember when it's time."

Sophia: "So what were you and Siya talking about over there?"
Cristian: "I was just letting her know how important it is to keep your friends close and treat them how they deserve. That hurting the people who matter just hurts you even worse in the end."
Sophia: "Sort of a heavy topic for a birthday party, huh?"
Cristian: "Yeah, I guess it is. I just want to make sure that your children don't repeat my mistakes. After all, you've always been family to me, which makes them my family, too."
Sophia: "Hmm. Alright. I'm glad you came. It was good to have you here again. But..."
Cristian: "But it's getting late and I should probably head home?"
Sophia: "Yeah. Thank you for understanding."
Cristian: "Of course. I'll see you for the twins' birthday in a few days."
Sophia: "See you then."

Joe: "Sweetie, could you please try eating one bite at a time?"
Siya: "No. Too good. Must devour."
Joe: "Okay. Could you at least try to get the food in your mouth instead of the floor?"

Siya: "I don't get it. What's his problem?"
Erg...yuck.

Zell, what are you doing?
Zell: "I'm building a snowman, duh. What does it look like?"
It looks like the millionth snowman you've started building without the intention to finish it. You are constantly coming out here, starting a snowman, and then abandoning it before you're done. Is this some weird form of completion anxiety or something?
Zell: "It's cold out here! We live in the Taiga and I don't even have gloves. I can't stay out here long enough to finish a snowman. What are you? Tupoy?"
Jeez, no need to get mean about it.
Zell: "Whatever. I'm going inside."

Ark: "Oh no! I got something wrong!"
It's okay. You can just erase it.
Ark: "Yes, but I'll always know that I got it wrong."
These kids are going to be the death of me.

Sophia: "I am so not ready for today."
What's wrong?
Sophia: "So many things. I'm still a body point shy of my final promotion, and I'll have the next few days off, so I won't be able to get promoted until after I'm an elder since someone won't let me drink any Elixir..."
I didn't forbid you from drinking it. All I did was warn you that gaining extra life requires someone else to lose some of theirs. It's up to you to decide if you want to do that.
Sophia: "Yeah, yeah, whatever. It's not just work. By the end of the day, all of my babies will be teenagers. And then they'll be off to the Academie soon. Only one of them will be coming back home, and then she'll be having babies of her own. It feels like I'm getting old a lot faster than I thought I would."
I'm pretty sure all parents go through this. You'll be fine.
Sophia: "If you say so."

Ark: "Do you fell different? Too big for your bones or anything?"
Zell: "What? Too big for my bones? What does that even mean?"
Ark: "I don't know. I'm just trying to figure out how this aging thing works. We just go from being kids to being teenagers, and we're bigger and we know what we want to do with our lives...it's weird! I want to figure it out."
Zell: "Too bad. I am done with questions. Now shut up and play chess."
Ark: "Oh fine."

Siya: "Excited for tonight?"
Ark: "I'm mostly just confused. How do birthday cakes make us age? How do we get an aspiration? Why doesn't it always match a Sim's personality? How is our lifetime want decided? Why does fulfilling it make us platinum forever? Why do we measure mood by color anyway?"
Siya: "I...don't know. Maybe we should just eat our pancakes."
Yes, just eat your pancakes.
Siya: "See? Cap agrees."
Ark: "Hmmm...that raises a few more questions."
Let's skip ahead before Ark figures out the fourth wall.
Ark: "Wait, what's the fourth wall?"
Skipping ahead now...

That is an awkward place for Cristian to be standing.
This room is not well set up for birthdays.

Awkwardness intensifies.
Ark: "I wish to be enlightened on the true nature of being a Sim."
Hmm...

Zell: "I wish to be rich and beautiful forever."
Can't help but feel that you're wasting a wish there.

Ark: "I just realized that all this questioning about how Sims work and the truth of our world is kind of silly. I really should focus on family, and sandwiches, instead."
Muahahaha...um, I mean, that's nice.
Arkady here rolled Family/Grilled Cheese, so I think my fourth wall is safe for the moment.

Zell: "Beautiful? Check. Rich? Not yet, but I'll get there."
Zell currently ranks second for best looking Sim I've had born into one of my games. First place still goes to Maria Nalaar from one of my failed legacies.
Zell rolled Fortune/Family, which makes Ark the only Tsarina so far without a Fortune aspiration, and Sophia the only one without a Family aspiration. I'm starting to wonder if my dice might be broken.

Here's Zell post-makeover. I think she likes the look; she's constantly checking herself out in the mirror.

Ark: "Shouldn't my makeover be discussed first since I spun first? Also, it always sounds like you're talking about us to someone else. Who is it? Are there others like you, and you all just share stories about the families you watch over? Is that the real reason--"
Hey, how many kids do you want to end up having?
Ark: "As many as possible! Babies are so great. I can't wait to be otets. It's even better when your babies grow up and you get to see them having their own babies. Gosh, I want a house full of kids and grandkids. That would be amazing.
I love you, Ark.
Ark: "That's sweet, Cap. Thanks."

I'm going to leave you with this picture of Sophia and Cristian, back when he was just a sweet, innocent child.

The next chapter will probably be tough for me to write, so it might be a bit delayed. I'll see you then.